


A Cherished Dream

by JigglyJelly (orphan_account)



Series: Requested Stories! [3]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Death, M/M, Romance, SebaCiel - Freeform, Sebastian's POV, Sequel, ciel's death, first person POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-03
Updated: 2014-10-03
Packaged: 2018-02-19 17:11:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2396258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/JigglyJelly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"They say demons can never experience foolish, human emotions such as love, yet here I am, broken-hearted because of you."<br/>A Sequel to Till Death Do Us Part- Sebastian's thoughts in regards to Ciel's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Cherished Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Hey again everyone!
> 
> This is the sequel to a requested one-shot I wrote before- Till Death Do Us Part! I wrote this story in Sebastian’s POV of Ciel’s death. This wasn’t really requested by anyone except suggested by a Tumblr anon, but I had lots of fun writing this! Without further ado again, here’s the story!

**A Cherished Dream**

I cannot stop thinking about you.

Your stern, innocent voice, your arrogant, childish personality, the scent of your soul—covered in rich layers of ambitious hatred and pure revenge…

They say demons can never experience foolish,  _human_  emotions such as love, but here I am, broken-hearted because of you.

I have truly missed you, my lord. 

I cannot remember how many times I have returned to where you rest in peace, how each year I would always bring you a bundle of sterling roses that I know you had always adored. I cannot remember how many times I have grieved over your death; the warm, salty droplets of water that humans described as ‘tears’ would roll down my cold cheeks ever so often. I cannot remember the last time I stopped regretting why I fulfilled our contract, why I devoured your precious soul—the weight in my heart feels like it wants to pull me down to the lowest depth of hell every time I think of you.

According to the other contracts I have made in the past, I was supposed to forget you and move on. I was supposed to discard all of my memories about you, your orders, everything…

However, no matter how hard I have tried, I cannot forget you.

Although your soul is in the pit of my stomach, your presence invades my mind each second I live. You are all I have been thinking about in the past few decades; whenever I close my eyes, I can see your face—your blue hair, your blushing cheeks, your big, beautiful eyes—I can hear your mature, steady voice, I feel that as if you are still alive, still the bratty master that I enjoy serving.

But you are not, as you rest in long, eternal peace.

I have lost interest in pursuing another human’s soul— compared to them, yours is a true work of art, an extraordinary one that I simply cannot describe in words. There is no need for me to form another contract, as your soul will satisfy my hunger for longer than eternity. I did not change the name you gave me, nor did I dare alter my physical appearance—compared to my demon form, I would rather stay as your dutiful, loyal servant, who will follow you everywhere you go. The reapers would call me stupid, foolish as I refused to move on—but I don’t care; I would rather experience the most harsh punishments from hell than to abandon you, to not think of you anymore.

Ah, young master, how absurd that you have affected me so significantly?

Remember all those times you got kidnapped? I thought you would be mad at me for letting it happen, but you weren’t; you played along, because you knew that I would do whatever it takes to keep you safe. Remember how jealous I was of Lady Elizabeth, and how we got into an argument because she kissed you on the cheek? I thought you would hit me, but you didn’t; you let me express my anger, because you were thoughtful of my emotions, and how possessive I could have gotten of you. Remember how much I teased you about your dancing skills, your feminine voice and appearance? I thought you would have forbid me to cuddle you after that, but you didn’t; you accepted my hugs every night as you welcomed my kisses, my caresses and my loving touches. In the little amount of years that I have served you, I was able to embrace a new emotion: love. I became able to smile wholeheartedly around you, and I finally understood why humans consider it as an important component of life. When you smile relaxingly, my lips would curl upwards on instinct; when you cried out fearfully from your nightmares at night and sob from your memories, I would go to your side in less than a second, and sooth your anxieties with some warm milk; when you got embarrassed adorably from my teases, I would know when to stop, when to let you fire me back with your witty comebacks…I became capable of loving you, experiencing something a demon should never have felt before.

Sure, there were things you didn’t do, but you let me protect you. In return, you loved me, too. You allowed me to caress you, to kiss you, to hug you whenever I wanted.  I have never been so happy in my long, endless life. I am not ashamed to admit that serving you had been the most worthwhile thing I’ve ever done.

Today marks another year of your death. When I visit your grave, my hallucination of you being alive is stronger than usual. I can almost feel your warm skin against my cold fingers when you grant me a hug, I can almost feel your lips against mine when you lean forward to try comfort my depression. I can hear your affectionate confession when I tell you how much I have missed you.

Despite the fact that everything feels so unbelievably real, I can never escape reality. You fade away from me, telling me that you love me as much as I do, leaving me alone, all by myself again, again, and again.

Ah, young master, what a cruel thing you have done to me.

You are the dream that I never should have cherished.

-The End-

**Author's Note:**

> So there we go! I hope this little Sequel made you see through how I imagine Sebastian felt about his beloved master’s death! I wrote this over a few days because I was a bit worried about the outcome/effectiveness of this sequel, but please feel free to message me for any questions/comments about this post! Like I always say, both compliments and criticisms are greatly appreciated!  
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> -JigglyJelly-


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